Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying LifeWant to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions fromUniversity of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, based on research findingsby her and others. Satisfaction (at least a temporary boost) guaranteed
1. Count your blessings.One way to do this is with a“gratitude journal” in whichyou write down three to fivethings for which you arecurrently thankful—from themundane (your peonies are inbloom) to the magnificent (achild’s first steps). Do thisonce a week, say, on Sundaynight. Keep it fresh by varyingyour entries as much aspossible.
2. Practice acts ofkindness. These should beboth random (let that harriedmom go ahead of you in thecheckout line) and systematic(bring Sunday supper to anelderly neighbor). Being kind toothers, whether friends orstrangers, triggers a cascadeof positive effects—it makesyou feel generous and capable,gives you a greater sense ofconnection with others andwins you smiles, approval andreciprocated kindness—allhappiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys. Pay closeattention to momentarypleasures and wonders. Focuson the sweetness of a ripestrawberry or the warmth ofthe sun when you step outfrom the shade. Somepsychologists suggest taking“mental photographs” ofpleasurable moments toreview in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor. If there’ssomeone whom you owe adebt of gratitude for guidingyou at one of life’s crossroads,don’t wait to express yourappreciation—in detail and, ifpossible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive. Let goof anger and resentment bywriting a letter of forgivenessto a person who has hurt orwronged you. Inability toforgive is associated with persistentrumination or dwellingon revenge, while forgivingallows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy infriends and family. Where youlive, how much money youmake, your job title and evenyour health have surprisinglysmall effects on your satisfactionwith life. The biggestfactor appears to be strongpersonal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.Getting plenty of sleep,exercising, stretching, smilingand laughing can all enhanceyour mood in the short term.Practiced regularly, they canhelp make your daily life moresatisfying.
8. Develop strategies forcoping with stress and hardships.There is no avoidinghard times. Religious faithhas been shown to helppeople cope, but so do thesecular beliefs enshrined inaxioms like “This too shallpass” and “That whichdoesn’t kill me makes mestronger.” The trick is that youhave to believe them.biggest recommendation
For lasting happiness is to figure out (courtesyof his website, reflectivehappiness.com) your strengths and findnew ways to deploy them.
Virtually all the happinessexercises being tested by positivepsychologists, he says, make people feelmore connected to others. :)
Three components of happiness: pleasure (“the smiley-face piece”), engagement (the depth of involvement with one’s family, work, romance and hobbies) and meaning (using personal strengths to serve some larger end).Of those three roads to a happy, satisfied life, pleasure is the least consequential, he insists:
“This is newsworthy because so many Americans build their lives around pursuing pleasure. It turns out that engagement and meaning are much more important.”
“It is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties and social support in order to be happy.”
What you remember of an experience is particularly influenced by the emotional high and low points and by how it ends. The average person remembers the peak moments and how he or she felt at the end of something. That's the power of endings.
Studying happiness should pay careful attention to people’s actual experiences rather than just survey their reflections.
“You cannot ignore how people spend their time,” he says, “when thinking about well-being.”we are our memories more than we are the sum total of our experiences,”
Strong friendship networks help immune systemHappiest people have strong supportive social relationships. Happier people usually live 9 years more then unhappy people. Affects of happiness are better performance, and better physical health- actually helps prevent illnesses.
Power to think and we are in control of that power. When we think about an activity, the same areas in the brain are activated as if we were really doing the activity. Brain can’t tell the difference. If we think something is going to happen, it actually does in the brain. You program your brain to be negative or positive.
Visualize! Don’t’ compare weaknesses with others strengths. Visualize how things will be. Mind can’t tell the difference. How visualize self that’s how you’ll be. We all visualize every day, mostly from our past experiences and our negative automatic thoughts. How do you want to be? Focus on what you want to be, not what you aren’t. visualize it with the five senses, even more real to the brain. Put self in the situation they want to be in and the way they want to be See it , smell it, hear it, taste it, feel it. More practice more it becomes automatic.
"Your response makes the difference – you can hate or you can love. You can be bitter or get better. You can make something good out of evil or you can just give up.""It's not what you have lost that counts . . . it's what yo...u have left."
"Some people are thankful for their disability, accident, or terrible circumstance, primarily because it gives them more than it takes away." "It's more of an opportunity than it is a setback."
FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE by Enright; FORGIVE FOR GOOD, Luskin, 2003;www.learningtoforgive.com
"You gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which we think we cannot."
Eleanor Roosevelt
1884-1962, Social Activist and First Lady of the United States
1. Count your blessings.One way to do this is with a“gratitude journal” in whichyou write down three to fivethings for which you arecurrently thankful—from themundane (your peonies are inbloom) to the magnificent (achild’s first steps). Do thisonce a week, say, on Sundaynight. Keep it fresh by varyingyour entries as much aspossible.
2. Practice acts ofkindness. These should beboth random (let that harriedmom go ahead of you in thecheckout line) and systematic(bring Sunday supper to anelderly neighbor). Being kind toothers, whether friends orstrangers, triggers a cascadeof positive effects—it makesyou feel generous and capable,gives you a greater sense ofconnection with others andwins you smiles, approval andreciprocated kindness—allhappiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys. Pay closeattention to momentarypleasures and wonders. Focuson the sweetness of a ripestrawberry or the warmth ofthe sun when you step outfrom the shade. Somepsychologists suggest taking“mental photographs” ofpleasurable moments toreview in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor. If there’ssomeone whom you owe adebt of gratitude for guidingyou at one of life’s crossroads,don’t wait to express yourappreciation—in detail and, ifpossible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive. Let goof anger and resentment bywriting a letter of forgivenessto a person who has hurt orwronged you. Inability toforgive is associated with persistentrumination or dwellingon revenge, while forgivingallows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy infriends and family. Where youlive, how much money youmake, your job title and evenyour health have surprisinglysmall effects on your satisfactionwith life. The biggestfactor appears to be strongpersonal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.Getting plenty of sleep,exercising, stretching, smilingand laughing can all enhanceyour mood in the short term.Practiced regularly, they canhelp make your daily life moresatisfying.
8. Develop strategies forcoping with stress and hardships.There is no avoidinghard times. Religious faithhas been shown to helppeople cope, but so do thesecular beliefs enshrined inaxioms like “This too shallpass” and “That whichdoesn’t kill me makes mestronger.” The trick is that youhave to believe them.biggest recommendation
For lasting happiness is to figure out (courtesyof his website, reflectivehappiness.com) your strengths and findnew ways to deploy them.
Virtually all the happinessexercises being tested by positivepsychologists, he says, make people feelmore connected to others. :)
Three components of happiness: pleasure (“the smiley-face piece”), engagement (the depth of involvement with one’s family, work, romance and hobbies) and meaning (using personal strengths to serve some larger end).Of those three roads to a happy, satisfied life, pleasure is the least consequential, he insists:
“This is newsworthy because so many Americans build their lives around pursuing pleasure. It turns out that engagement and meaning are much more important.”
“It is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties and social support in order to be happy.”
What you remember of an experience is particularly influenced by the emotional high and low points and by how it ends. The average person remembers the peak moments and how he or she felt at the end of something. That's the power of endings.
Studying happiness should pay careful attention to people’s actual experiences rather than just survey their reflections.
“You cannot ignore how people spend their time,” he says, “when thinking about well-being.”we are our memories more than we are the sum total of our experiences,”
Strong friendship networks help immune systemHappiest people have strong supportive social relationships. Happier people usually live 9 years more then unhappy people. Affects of happiness are better performance, and better physical health- actually helps prevent illnesses.
Power to think and we are in control of that power. When we think about an activity, the same areas in the brain are activated as if we were really doing the activity. Brain can’t tell the difference. If we think something is going to happen, it actually does in the brain. You program your brain to be negative or positive.
Visualize! Don’t’ compare weaknesses with others strengths. Visualize how things will be. Mind can’t tell the difference. How visualize self that’s how you’ll be. We all visualize every day, mostly from our past experiences and our negative automatic thoughts. How do you want to be? Focus on what you want to be, not what you aren’t. visualize it with the five senses, even more real to the brain. Put self in the situation they want to be in and the way they want to be See it , smell it, hear it, taste it, feel it. More practice more it becomes automatic.
"Your response makes the difference – you can hate or you can love. You can be bitter or get better. You can make something good out of evil or you can just give up.""It's not what you have lost that counts . . . it's what yo...u have left."
"Some people are thankful for their disability, accident, or terrible circumstance, primarily because it gives them more than it takes away." "It's more of an opportunity than it is a setback."
FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE by Enright; FORGIVE FOR GOOD, Luskin, 2003;www.learningtoforgive.com
"You gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which we think we cannot."
Eleanor Roosevelt
1884-1962, Social Activist and First Lady of the United States
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