FOR PARTNERS/FAMILY/FRIENDS OR PERSONS WHO WANT TO HELP AND SUPPORT THOSE SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY OR PANIC ISSUES, SPECIFICALLY WHEN HELPING THEM WITH ANXIETY OR PANIC ATTACKS/PROBLEMS. HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO DO:
(from Midwest Center)
some links:
1.) Praise often. Even for the smallest successes. Your encouragement is extremely important. Praise the participant for even trying.
2.) Encourage his/her independence. Let them face their fears alone whenever and wherever possible, but only if he/she is ready. (Fears are individual to each person so you will need to be aware of what specific fears they are facing like driving, talking to/confronting people, etc.)
3.) Compliment the participant for his/her progress as far as attitude is concerned. He/she is the last one to notice how they are changing for the positive. Be sure you point it out.
4.) If he/she wants you to go along as him/her to practice his/her avoidance situations-such as driving, shopping, communicating, etc . . .-go with them. But allow his/her some distance, all the while letting him or her know, you are there to assist and support them.
5.) If you are in a situation where the person with anxiety begins to feel panicky and anxious, try to help him/her by reassuring them that it is just anxiety. They do not have to leave the situation. Do not be an enabler by suggesting they go, instead let them and help them face their fears by comforting them. Remind him/her that they are ok. Reassure him/her that there is no reason to be afraid or to have to leave the situation. Help them feel comfortable and realize they are safe. It’s just how they are talking to themselves or thinking that is making them feel unsafe. BE POSITIVE! Distract him/her by showing things to them, using humor or talking about something that they are interested in. Let him/her know that they will be okay. Don’t make a big deal out of their fear or panic (don’t blow it out of proportion or bring a lot of attention to it), just help them see they will be ok. Be kind and patient, eventually it will pass and they will get better.
6.) Let the person with anxiety have a big hand in the decision-making process-where they are going, how long you will stay and how you will get there and back. Let them feel like he/she is in control of the situation to some extent. He/she will be more comfortable and probably stay longer in the situation in that case.
7.) If the person with anxiety feels discouraged or depressed about his/her progress, give them reassurance that they are doing well.
8.) Be patient. Stay positive and humble. Be attentive to their concerns. Do not become angry over his/her fears or attacks. The longer you treat him/her badly and make him/her feel guilty, the longer it will last. They are not doing this on purpose or to make you upset.
Do not be sarcastic with them or criticize them about their condition.
9.) Allow them to be assertive and praise them for doing so. (In some cases they might even seem selfish or angry, eventually that will change as they begin to learn to be more assertive. Realize they may have never felt they were allowed to express those feelings or thoughts before.) They need to know it’s ok to ask for what they need and people will still accept and love them.
Do not baby him/her but be supportive and compassionate. Try not to push them and monitor his/her progress. That will only make him/her, feel like they are not living up to your expectations of them and will increase their anxiety. People will anxiety are already hard on themselves.
***
People with mood disorders somtimes need others to point out their symptoms and they may also need someone to literally make the appointment and go with them to their healthcare provider. We don't think right when we are depressed. We see things through smuged, dark glasses. Depressed people blame themselves for not taking action, which increases their self-loathing and further insures they will not be able to act.
1.) family and friends need to step in and encourage the depressed person to get treatment. Go with them and wait in the waiting room.
2.) Help give the history of the depression if your loved one would like you to. Sometimes an observer can point out things the sufferer wouldn’t notice or remember.
3.) Be reassuring. “This is temporary. This is very treatable. You are not weak. You are not a failure.” “This is the depression talking. Would you be so critical if it were me? Then don’t do that to yourself, I love you. Give me the gift of letting me help you.”
4.) Get beyond judgment. Your loved one is not doing this for attention. Depression hurts and it’s real.
5.) Keep your relationship as normal as possible; this helps provide the feelings of security and stability.
6.) It’s important to acknowledge their pain but never say “I know how you feel,” unless you truly do. “I am sorry this is happening to you” is more comforting.
7.) Communicating that there is help and that “you will feel better” is vital.
8.) Be extra generous with sincere compliments and kindness, even if your loved one seems to brush them aside.
9.) Treat the depressed person as you’ve always treated them (hopefully with love and respect).
2.) Encourage his/her independence. Let them face their fears alone whenever and wherever possible, but only if he/she is ready. (Fears are individual to each person so you will need to be aware of what specific fears they are facing like driving, talking to/confronting people, etc.)
3.) Compliment the participant for his/her progress as far as attitude is concerned. He/she is the last one to notice how they are changing for the positive. Be sure you point it out.
4.) If he/she wants you to go along as him/her to practice his/her avoidance situations-such as driving, shopping, communicating, etc . . .-go with them. But allow his/her some distance, all the while letting him or her know, you are there to assist and support them.
5.) If you are in a situation where the person with anxiety begins to feel panicky and anxious, try to help him/her by reassuring them that it is just anxiety. They do not have to leave the situation. Do not be an enabler by suggesting they go, instead let them and help them face their fears by comforting them. Remind him/her that they are ok. Reassure him/her that there is no reason to be afraid or to have to leave the situation. Help them feel comfortable and realize they are safe. It’s just how they are talking to themselves or thinking that is making them feel unsafe. BE POSITIVE! Distract him/her by showing things to them, using humor or talking about something that they are interested in. Let him/her know that they will be okay. Don’t make a big deal out of their fear or panic (don’t blow it out of proportion or bring a lot of attention to it), just help them see they will be ok. Be kind and patient, eventually it will pass and they will get better.
6.) Let the person with anxiety have a big hand in the decision-making process-where they are going, how long you will stay and how you will get there and back. Let them feel like he/she is in control of the situation to some extent. He/she will be more comfortable and probably stay longer in the situation in that case.
7.) If the person with anxiety feels discouraged or depressed about his/her progress, give them reassurance that they are doing well.
8.) Be patient. Stay positive and humble. Be attentive to their concerns. Do not become angry over his/her fears or attacks. The longer you treat him/her badly and make him/her feel guilty, the longer it will last. They are not doing this on purpose or to make you upset.
Do not be sarcastic with them or criticize them about their condition.
9.) Allow them to be assertive and praise them for doing so. (In some cases they might even seem selfish or angry, eventually that will change as they begin to learn to be more assertive. Realize they may have never felt they were allowed to express those feelings or thoughts before.) They need to know it’s ok to ask for what they need and people will still accept and love them.
Do not baby him/her but be supportive and compassionate. Try not to push them and monitor his/her progress. That will only make him/her, feel like they are not living up to your expectations of them and will increase their anxiety. People will anxiety are already hard on themselves.
***
People with mood disorders somtimes need others to point out their symptoms and they may also need someone to literally make the appointment and go with them to their healthcare provider. We don't think right when we are depressed. We see things through smuged, dark glasses. Depressed people blame themselves for not taking action, which increases their self-loathing and further insures they will not be able to act.
1.) family and friends need to step in and encourage the depressed person to get treatment. Go with them and wait in the waiting room.
2.) Help give the history of the depression if your loved one would like you to. Sometimes an observer can point out things the sufferer wouldn’t notice or remember.
3.) Be reassuring. “This is temporary. This is very treatable. You are not weak. You are not a failure.” “This is the depression talking. Would you be so critical if it were me? Then don’t do that to yourself, I love you. Give me the gift of letting me help you.”
4.) Get beyond judgment. Your loved one is not doing this for attention. Depression hurts and it’s real.
5.) Keep your relationship as normal as possible; this helps provide the feelings of security and stability.
6.) It’s important to acknowledge their pain but never say “I know how you feel,” unless you truly do. “I am sorry this is happening to you” is more comforting.
7.) Communicating that there is help and that “you will feel better” is vital.
8.) Be extra generous with sincere compliments and kindness, even if your loved one seems to brush them aside.
9.) Treat the depressed person as you’ve always treated them (hopefully with love and respect).
(from Midwest Center)
some links:
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