What are some things you are anticipating? To introduce this topic I have two statements for you. One “Life isn’t fair” and Two “Bad things Happen.” Now at (BYU-ID) devotional a week ago (March 6th, 2007) Stake Pres. Brad Foster (the speaker) said some things that helped explain why these statements are true. He said (and we’ve heard this before) We must have opposition in all things. 2 Nephi 2: 11, 15. Remember we are here to be tested to see what we will do, even when things aren’t fair. Life must be a challenge to us or we would not grow. We could not gain the strength we will need for our future lives.
Read 2 Nephi 10:20 Lets take note of Nephi’s example and testimony. Even when things look bad, lets not let those negative thoughts from Satan discourage us. If we hold on and do the Lord‘s will, and just keep doing what we know is right, there will be something better for us coming. We must continue no matter how hard it is. Read Mosiah 7:33; D & C 100:15; D & C 90:24; Rom. 8: 28
Anticipatory Anxiety can make us feel doomed or like a victim. It creates fear, anxiety, and sadness. (MC) But we do not have to live life like that. We must realize that usually things aren’t as bad as we think or anticipate they will be, and when bad things do happen we need to believe we can handle them. Remember we have a Savior and His atonement to help us. We have prayer and the Priesthood. We have promises of great blessings. We do not need to fear. We can trust our Lord and God. He will help us, no matter the challenge we come across. He can help. Look for the good. Keep in mind all good things come from God and He can make good out of any bad situation. Now with this we need to look out for the lies of Satan because he will try to make the good things look bad. Like our important relationships, or getting to the celestial kingdom, temple, etc. Watch for times Satan tries to tempt you to “What if” or negative think about your blessings and gifts from God, because he will try. He wants to ruin anything good. Also, we must try to see what our part in the difficult situation might be and then do something about it.
When dealing with Anticipatory anxiety we must have faith. This is something we can work on and develop. It might take some time and effort, but it is at our reach. Also we can work on accepting and trusting God’s will. Check on your self-talk. Self-talk is something we can change, we do not have to be a victim. It is our choice. And over time as we seek to trust and believe in the Lord and God’s power, and we work on changing our negative and doubting inner dialogue, the spirit will increase within us, and it will become more and more natural to trust and believe in God and His Son, and to think more positively and less fearful.
Let’s talk about “what if” thinking. “What if” thinking is usually driven by fear (False Evidence Appearing Real.)-MC. Read 2 Tim 1:7. If God didn’t give us fear, who did? Unless you are sure your fear is from the Lord (like the Holy Ghost warning you). Do not make your decisions based on fear.
Now, how many times have you made choices based on fear? How many times have you not done something because of fear? What would you have done or be doing right now, it not for your fears? (MC) We need to face our fears, but don’t think you have to do it alone. You don’t. The Lord is always there to help, no matter who you are or where you are or why you are where you are. Just make an effort to show Him you want His help, or start looking for the ways He is already doing something to help you. You can say a prayer. Don’t worry about how long it’s been or if you are worthy or not. God knows you and He cares. You could try to start noticing the good and be more grateful, and not focus on the negative so much. You could change your “what ifs” to positive, possibility thinking, that will empower and encourage you to accomplish the good the Lord would have you do. Fuel and feed your positive and proactive/productive self. Talk back to your negative thoughts. You do not have to believe them. Say “So what if” is it really that bad? Tell Yourself that no matter what happens you can handle it because of the Lord’s help. By doing that, you will teach yourself to ignore your catastripfying negative thoughts. You can create a new, more healthy and positive thinking pattern. Realize you can control what you think, and if you are concerned about something you have no control over, then let it go. Let God take care of it for you. That’s part of His job. He can and knows how to take care of those things we can not. He is very capable and willing to take care of those things for us. He can handle it. Read 1 Pet. 5:7; Matt. 6: 25-34; D & C 68:6; Ish. 41: 10; Deut. 31:6
Uncomfortable symptoms, just signal that situation may be challenging. By seeing this, makes it possible to use the experience as a chance to learn and practice new behaviors.
Don’t avoid things physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Confrontation or conflict? Why afraid to disagree? This leads to more avoidances and anxiety because of scary thoughts and body symptoms. It is all a distraction from dealing with confrontation. (KNOW-YOU AND OTHERS- ANXIETY LIKES ATTENTION)
Circular thinking used to avoid:
Anger could come from recognizing need for more personal, private time. Use to putting everyone else first despite your needs and wants. Take time for yourself. Helps us be able to observe and understand ourselves better. May be impatient with others negative ways. Not your job to change other people (that’s the Lord’s job). You can change your reaction to other and filter out negatives.
When practicing limitations you are in a risk-taking mode.
Visualize everyday what you are going to practice later. Visualize practicing a limitation calmly and confidently. Use your tools, see yourself actually using/doing skills/tools. Give voice to positive dialog, say them out loud or write them down.
Most common problems associated with anxiety and depression are avoidance behaviors. Have to make a plan to do something differently.
Doing the feared thing, eliminates the fear.
You have the skills and tools to make your practice sessions very manageable. As use skills over and over you will become more and more able to use them.
Anything worth having takes hard work and diligence. Living with anxiety is harder than practicing your limitations. No one can do this for you. Make sure your goals are reasonable, realistic, and rational.
Writing plan down helps you focus and break the practice down into reasonable pieces. Feels more like a contract. Helps to be specific. Written log of practice sessions allows you to see progress. Celebrate any step of progress even if small or slow. Note any effort. Feed the positive not negative. Talk back to negative voice, so know it is no longer the one you listen to.
Antidote to “What-if” is present moment living and realistic positive inner dialogue.
Realize value of small, slow, steady steps through the process of change.
One thing most likely to hold you back is anticipatory anxiety. Experienced with initial thought and anticipation of doing something. (Worry)
Anticipating situation and anticipating negative scary results. Experience tremendous anxiety before you even get started.
Truth about anticipatory anxiety is that actual situation is usually never as bad or as anxiety producing as the anticipatory anxiety.
Fears much worse when anticipating situation than when you actually are in situation.
Wall of anticipatory anxiety often keeps you from moving ahead, keeps you from making decisions and following through, keeps you depressed and keeps you from taking chances that will help improve your life.
Practice particular limitation on day feel rested and positive.
If limitation is going certain place, go on slow day or time. Spend only a short time there. Give self permission to have an out.
If limitation is doing something with people (social events) set up situation so you can leave if and when you want to. Have control over your comings and goings. You probably won’t feel as trapped and you’ll stay longer.
You must get our and do these things, experience anxiety and understand that you will survive, that it will not hurt you. That’s how you get over anxiety disorder.
Give self permission to feel anxious while you are out working on new limitations. It’s ok to feel anxious when trying something new and challenging. View your anxiety as excitement. Praise yourself for even smallest successes.
List in order that they affect you, Limitations and problems you still have as a result of this condition. How are you going to work on these limitations?
Have an out or excuse ready to use if need to leave because feeling anxious.
When working on limitations best to move slowly. Put yourself in a position of control whenever possible. Prepare outs ahead of time if necessary. Do things spontaneously when you are feeling good. Don’t plan too far ahead.
With depression consult three R’s of thought restructuring. Is it realistic, rational, reasonable?
Trace your mood. Exactly what thoughts started this? Were my original thoughts based on solid logic and facts? Perhaps this was a fantasy from the beginning?
Make a gratitude list.
Exercise; Socialize-even if you don’t want to
Find your sense of humor.
Do something nice for someone-anonymously
Change your environment. Do something different that you normally don’t do or are use to. Pretend something –make it fun!
Get a relaxation video.
Emotions often blanket us in layers; the strongest gets the most attention! Depression is a strong emotion. What’s under it? Boredom- sometimes, I think; Lack of attention; Feeling unappreciated; Feeling unfilled.
Take personal responsibility for how you feel. “What am I doing to contribute to or worsen these negative feelings? What can I do to help myself?”
Become other oriented.
Be gentle with ourselves. Depression hurts.
Most people don’t want advice-they want someone to listen. Pay attention to what others are doing, etc.
SATAN IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO LIMIT US, HE TRAPS US WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND HABITS.
To change depression means I must push at my limitations a little. We can change and become more patient. It takes patience to work through discouragement.
Small steps get you to the same place. Build on success.
Deal with any body symptoms right away-don’t let them build.
Practice frequently and regularly
Accept some anxiety this is normal. Could it be excitement?
Accept some days are more of a struggle than others.
Beware of perfectionism!
Deal don’t Dwell!
Review each of your avoidances, boundaries and limitations. Write a reasonable plan to work on each of them.
Goals for desensitization. Make small manageable steps.
Use fear as a signal that you are about to avoid. Record occurrences in your journal and briefly make notations as to how you dealt with the fear.
Notice when using circular thinking-jump out.
Visualize self going through your limitations quietly, calmly and in control.
Not going to try but will do my best, every little thing do is good or enough. Don’t add a negative to the positive.
Plan success. Huh, huh, if your avoidance is assertive behavior, don’t start with the most angry and defensive person in your life.
Two goals wish to make happen in professional and personal life. Be specific. Write plan that details how going to make happen. Schedule appointments with people that can help make these happen.
Choose your what ifs carefully. Use them to motivate you. Think positive what ifs. Can look forward to something realizing will be anxiety and nervousness because it’s normal, but could be something wonderful or life changing.
It’s just my imagination. Things aren’t as bad as they look.
I don’t have to do it the hard way.
I have control.
Every challenge is an opportunity.It’s ok to be uncomfortable.
No criticizing self instead look for good.
Face fears. Each time expand my comfort zone, I will have feelings of excitement. Choose to entertain positive thoughts. Put self in position to succeed, practice when I feel good, plan ahead, stack deck in my favor, Be a peace, knowing I only have to do the best that I can.
I know growth and progression take time. Be patient. Step. My best is good enough. Always do my best knowing some days I’ll be more anxious or depressed. Don’t dwell on how feel-just act. Continue learning, practicing, and making way of life.
Write out comebacks to what if thinking and rehearse daily. “What if I have nothing to worry about and I enjoy my day?"
Read 2 Nephi 10:20 Lets take note of Nephi’s example and testimony. Even when things look bad, lets not let those negative thoughts from Satan discourage us. If we hold on and do the Lord‘s will, and just keep doing what we know is right, there will be something better for us coming. We must continue no matter how hard it is. Read Mosiah 7:33; D & C 100:15; D & C 90:24; Rom. 8: 28
Anticipatory Anxiety can make us feel doomed or like a victim. It creates fear, anxiety, and sadness. (MC) But we do not have to live life like that. We must realize that usually things aren’t as bad as we think or anticipate they will be, and when bad things do happen we need to believe we can handle them. Remember we have a Savior and His atonement to help us. We have prayer and the Priesthood. We have promises of great blessings. We do not need to fear. We can trust our Lord and God. He will help us, no matter the challenge we come across. He can help. Look for the good. Keep in mind all good things come from God and He can make good out of any bad situation. Now with this we need to look out for the lies of Satan because he will try to make the good things look bad. Like our important relationships, or getting to the celestial kingdom, temple, etc. Watch for times Satan tries to tempt you to “What if” or negative think about your blessings and gifts from God, because he will try. He wants to ruin anything good. Also, we must try to see what our part in the difficult situation might be and then do something about it.
When dealing with Anticipatory anxiety we must have faith. This is something we can work on and develop. It might take some time and effort, but it is at our reach. Also we can work on accepting and trusting God’s will. Check on your self-talk. Self-talk is something we can change, we do not have to be a victim. It is our choice. And over time as we seek to trust and believe in the Lord and God’s power, and we work on changing our negative and doubting inner dialogue, the spirit will increase within us, and it will become more and more natural to trust and believe in God and His Son, and to think more positively and less fearful.
Let’s talk about “what if” thinking. “What if” thinking is usually driven by fear (False Evidence Appearing Real.)-MC. Read 2 Tim 1:7. If God didn’t give us fear, who did? Unless you are sure your fear is from the Lord (like the Holy Ghost warning you). Do not make your decisions based on fear.
Now, how many times have you made choices based on fear? How many times have you not done something because of fear? What would you have done or be doing right now, it not for your fears? (MC) We need to face our fears, but don’t think you have to do it alone. You don’t. The Lord is always there to help, no matter who you are or where you are or why you are where you are. Just make an effort to show Him you want His help, or start looking for the ways He is already doing something to help you. You can say a prayer. Don’t worry about how long it’s been or if you are worthy or not. God knows you and He cares. You could try to start noticing the good and be more grateful, and not focus on the negative so much. You could change your “what ifs” to positive, possibility thinking, that will empower and encourage you to accomplish the good the Lord would have you do. Fuel and feed your positive and proactive/productive self. Talk back to your negative thoughts. You do not have to believe them. Say “So what if” is it really that bad? Tell Yourself that no matter what happens you can handle it because of the Lord’s help. By doing that, you will teach yourself to ignore your catastripfying negative thoughts. You can create a new, more healthy and positive thinking pattern. Realize you can control what you think, and if you are concerned about something you have no control over, then let it go. Let God take care of it for you. That’s part of His job. He can and knows how to take care of those things we can not. He is very capable and willing to take care of those things for us. He can handle it. Read 1 Pet. 5:7; Matt. 6: 25-34; D & C 68:6; Ish. 41: 10; Deut. 31:6
Uncomfortable symptoms, just signal that situation may be challenging. By seeing this, makes it possible to use the experience as a chance to learn and practice new behaviors.
Don’t avoid things physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Confrontation or conflict? Why afraid to disagree? This leads to more avoidances and anxiety because of scary thoughts and body symptoms. It is all a distraction from dealing with confrontation. (KNOW-YOU AND OTHERS- ANXIETY LIKES ATTENTION)
Circular thinking used to avoid:
Anger could come from recognizing need for more personal, private time. Use to putting everyone else first despite your needs and wants. Take time for yourself. Helps us be able to observe and understand ourselves better. May be impatient with others negative ways. Not your job to change other people (that’s the Lord’s job). You can change your reaction to other and filter out negatives.
When practicing limitations you are in a risk-taking mode.
Visualize everyday what you are going to practice later. Visualize practicing a limitation calmly and confidently. Use your tools, see yourself actually using/doing skills/tools. Give voice to positive dialog, say them out loud or write them down.
Most common problems associated with anxiety and depression are avoidance behaviors. Have to make a plan to do something differently.
Doing the feared thing, eliminates the fear.
You have the skills and tools to make your practice sessions very manageable. As use skills over and over you will become more and more able to use them.
Anything worth having takes hard work and diligence. Living with anxiety is harder than practicing your limitations. No one can do this for you. Make sure your goals are reasonable, realistic, and rational.
Writing plan down helps you focus and break the practice down into reasonable pieces. Feels more like a contract. Helps to be specific. Written log of practice sessions allows you to see progress. Celebrate any step of progress even if small or slow. Note any effort. Feed the positive not negative. Talk back to negative voice, so know it is no longer the one you listen to.
Antidote to “What-if” is present moment living and realistic positive inner dialogue.
Realize value of small, slow, steady steps through the process of change.
One thing most likely to hold you back is anticipatory anxiety. Experienced with initial thought and anticipation of doing something. (Worry)
Anticipating situation and anticipating negative scary results. Experience tremendous anxiety before you even get started.
Truth about anticipatory anxiety is that actual situation is usually never as bad or as anxiety producing as the anticipatory anxiety.
Fears much worse when anticipating situation than when you actually are in situation.
Wall of anticipatory anxiety often keeps you from moving ahead, keeps you from making decisions and following through, keeps you depressed and keeps you from taking chances that will help improve your life.
Practice particular limitation on day feel rested and positive.
If limitation is going certain place, go on slow day or time. Spend only a short time there. Give self permission to have an out.
If limitation is doing something with people (social events) set up situation so you can leave if and when you want to. Have control over your comings and goings. You probably won’t feel as trapped and you’ll stay longer.
You must get our and do these things, experience anxiety and understand that you will survive, that it will not hurt you. That’s how you get over anxiety disorder.
Give self permission to feel anxious while you are out working on new limitations. It’s ok to feel anxious when trying something new and challenging. View your anxiety as excitement. Praise yourself for even smallest successes.
List in order that they affect you, Limitations and problems you still have as a result of this condition. How are you going to work on these limitations?
Have an out or excuse ready to use if need to leave because feeling anxious.
When working on limitations best to move slowly. Put yourself in a position of control whenever possible. Prepare outs ahead of time if necessary. Do things spontaneously when you are feeling good. Don’t plan too far ahead.
With depression consult three R’s of thought restructuring. Is it realistic, rational, reasonable?
Trace your mood. Exactly what thoughts started this? Were my original thoughts based on solid logic and facts? Perhaps this was a fantasy from the beginning?
Make a gratitude list.
Exercise; Socialize-even if you don’t want to
Find your sense of humor.
Do something nice for someone-anonymously
Change your environment. Do something different that you normally don’t do or are use to. Pretend something –make it fun!
Get a relaxation video.
Emotions often blanket us in layers; the strongest gets the most attention! Depression is a strong emotion. What’s under it? Boredom- sometimes, I think; Lack of attention; Feeling unappreciated; Feeling unfilled.
Take personal responsibility for how you feel. “What am I doing to contribute to or worsen these negative feelings? What can I do to help myself?”
Become other oriented.
Be gentle with ourselves. Depression hurts.
Most people don’t want advice-they want someone to listen. Pay attention to what others are doing, etc.
SATAN IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO LIMIT US, HE TRAPS US WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND HABITS.
To change depression means I must push at my limitations a little. We can change and become more patient. It takes patience to work through discouragement.
Small steps get you to the same place. Build on success.
Deal with any body symptoms right away-don’t let them build.
Practice frequently and regularly
Accept some anxiety this is normal. Could it be excitement?
Accept some days are more of a struggle than others.
Beware of perfectionism!
Deal don’t Dwell!
Review each of your avoidances, boundaries and limitations. Write a reasonable plan to work on each of them.
Goals for desensitization. Make small manageable steps.
Use fear as a signal that you are about to avoid. Record occurrences in your journal and briefly make notations as to how you dealt with the fear.
Notice when using circular thinking-jump out.
Visualize self going through your limitations quietly, calmly and in control.
Not going to try but will do my best, every little thing do is good or enough. Don’t add a negative to the positive.
Plan success. Huh, huh, if your avoidance is assertive behavior, don’t start with the most angry and defensive person in your life.
Two goals wish to make happen in professional and personal life. Be specific. Write plan that details how going to make happen. Schedule appointments with people that can help make these happen.
Choose your what ifs carefully. Use them to motivate you. Think positive what ifs. Can look forward to something realizing will be anxiety and nervousness because it’s normal, but could be something wonderful or life changing.
It’s just my imagination. Things aren’t as bad as they look.
I don’t have to do it the hard way.
I have control.
Every challenge is an opportunity.It’s ok to be uncomfortable.
No criticizing self instead look for good.
Face fears. Each time expand my comfort zone, I will have feelings of excitement. Choose to entertain positive thoughts. Put self in position to succeed, practice when I feel good, plan ahead, stack deck in my favor, Be a peace, knowing I only have to do the best that I can.
I know growth and progression take time. Be patient. Step. My best is good enough. Always do my best knowing some days I’ll be more anxious or depressed. Don’t dwell on how feel-just act. Continue learning, practicing, and making way of life.
Write out comebacks to what if thinking and rehearse daily. “What if I have nothing to worry about and I enjoy my day?"
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