If you feel guilty you are thinking about the past. If you are worried you are thinking about the future. We need to stay in the precious present moment. What can you do now? Think about who you are at this moment. If you are different then in the past, if you have repented and changed who you were or how you acted before, that is what is important now. It doesn’t really matter that much what or who you were before if you aren’t that anymore. This is from a Spiritual workbook by some associates of the Midwest Center (pg. 73). It says: “Lord, I’m not what I ought to be; I’m not what I want to be; I’m not what I’m going to be. But thanks Lord, I’m not what I use to be.” Lets be thankful for the growth we have made. We don’t have to beat ourselves up over things we’ve worked on or changed or are still trying to change. Don’t let negative Self-talk or Satan get you down. You can do it, even if you have had a hard time changing and still struggle with something or things that you need to change. Don’t give up, you can do it. Remember Alma 5: 33-34; 3 Nephi 9:14.Now if you are worried about the future maybe you just need to make a change or take a risk. Don’t be afraid. You will be ok. The Lord is on your side when you are seeking to develop and be your best self or trying to help people. He wants to and will help you. We can act now.
It may not always be easy but believe in yourself, because you can. It all starts with how you think. You can choose what you think. You can choose to live better and to believe in yourself and the Lord. We are children of God and He does care. He loves us obviously or He would not have done or be doing all that He does. The Savior Atoned for you. Believe in Him and believe in yourself. It’s ok to recognize the good in you. You’re a good person. Give yourself a pat on the back. Recognize what you do right and be happy about all you can and are doing.
The Lord never asked us to beat ourselves up all the time to stay humble, as far as I know. But in Matt. 22:39 it says (read) Do you think that if we are suppose to love others as ourselves, we should be loving ourselves? Of course, the Lord wants us to have a healthy love for ourselves. He wants us to love ourselves and then others, as He loves us. He wants us to be grateful and to see that He is helping us. Watch out for Satan again because He attacks us when it comes to being grateful. The Lord wants us to be happy with who we are and what we have done, are doing, and can do.
one last idea on this, We need to be accountable and take personal responsibility for how we feel. It is our choice. When we aren’t feeling good, we could ask “What am I doing to contribute to or worsen these negative feelings? What can I do to help myself?”(MC) These things take time to develop, we will need to work on them again and again until we get better. So try not to lose patience with yourself. It’s ok if it takes times. Don’t give up. The important thing is that you are trying.
This may be a good thing to remember for the end of the section at top. Whatever you practice, you become. Repeated behaviors become habits. To change or replace negative things with positive things takes atleast 18 days. Remember habits fight to stay alive, so it will take work to change, but you can do it. Thanks!
If we want to change our future, we must change our present thinking. Guilt is a negative state. Thoughts either help or hurt us. Long term guilt hurts us. We decide how we feel. (what we believe is true,) Guilt is a self-made poison. Meant to be a tap on the shoulder and not a life long science project. It keeps us trapped in the past. It’s anger directed at oneself. It’s another control issue. (thinking if we keep feeling guilty that will somehow control what happened, Guilt can be avoidance behavior. It keeps us from moving forward and taking responsibility and acting. Pain motivates us to find it’s source and fix it. Use guilt the same way, take care of it. (emotional tip or signal.) Feeling guilty is the beginning of a process. Pain with a purpose. Meant to guide us to feeling and getting better. Can use it to motivate us to change, because it’s uncomfortable. Learn from the situation, apologize, forgive, let go and move on with new insights. Letting go is action oriented.
WORRY is repeatedly thinking about something, but never arriving to a solution. Keeps us stuck in the negative. Worrying about something bad that’s already happened does nothing more than prolong the pain. (Let the Lord take care of it.) Habit it worry developed so well don’t even notice you are worrying. It feels normal, becomes a way of life. Really just waste of time. Picture the positive. Positive problem solving-develop a plan. Thoughts just thoughts, not necessarily facts. If worry, vividly and emotionally picturing life the way you don’t want it to be. (Yep). Body reacts same to thoughts as real event.
Two forgiveness lists- one for self, one for others. Be specific. The person, event, action, etc. when think about it, replay physically every emotion (why good not to rehash things) Figure out which ones ready to let go of. Reality (compassionate/empathic) thinking. Be mature, use adult eyes. Some things may take some time still to let go. Continue making forgiveness lists until you have a blank piece of paper. Allow the necessary time and be realistic about it.
Forgiveness is a process. Always cross-examine guilt and make sure there is a good reason to take on the pain of guilt. Check out the facts. Were your actions or inactions the cause of the problem? Is this situation due to circumstances beyond your control? Is there a pattern to your guilt? What can you learn about yourself, your vulnerabilities, strenths?
Guilt is a call to action! Can’t change what happened, can change small pieces of what happens next.
Write down three of your most bothersome worries from your day. After write down things you will do the next day that will lead to a solution. Get into the habit of taking action. Decrease time allow for worry?
Cross out all the things that you worry about that have no control over, and act on worries that you do.
USE THE 6 STEPS TO STOP THE WORRY CYCLE. REFOCUS THOUGHTS ON HERE AND NOW.
WORRIES: WRITE WORRY OR CONCERN (AND BODY SYMPTOMS) DOWN, THEN DURING ASSIGNED TIME (20 MINS) ALLOW YOURSELF TO WORRY , BUT START PROBLEM SOLVING DURING THAT TIME. Evaluate are you dwelling on past or worrying about the future, things have control over/things don’t have control over. For things have control over, form plan of action that will produce a more positive outcome. What are odds of this really happening?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
Take full responsibility for life and happiness.
It may not always be easy but believe in yourself, because you can. It all starts with how you think. You can choose what you think. You can choose to live better and to believe in yourself and the Lord. We are children of God and He does care. He loves us obviously or He would not have done or be doing all that He does. The Savior Atoned for you. Believe in Him and believe in yourself. It’s ok to recognize the good in you. You’re a good person. Give yourself a pat on the back. Recognize what you do right and be happy about all you can and are doing.
The Lord never asked us to beat ourselves up all the time to stay humble, as far as I know. But in Matt. 22:39 it says (read) Do you think that if we are suppose to love others as ourselves, we should be loving ourselves? Of course, the Lord wants us to have a healthy love for ourselves. He wants us to love ourselves and then others, as He loves us. He wants us to be grateful and to see that He is helping us. Watch out for Satan again because He attacks us when it comes to being grateful. The Lord wants us to be happy with who we are and what we have done, are doing, and can do.
one last idea on this, We need to be accountable and take personal responsibility for how we feel. It is our choice. When we aren’t feeling good, we could ask “What am I doing to contribute to or worsen these negative feelings? What can I do to help myself?”(MC) These things take time to develop, we will need to work on them again and again until we get better. So try not to lose patience with yourself. It’s ok if it takes times. Don’t give up. The important thing is that you are trying.
This may be a good thing to remember for the end of the section at top. Whatever you practice, you become. Repeated behaviors become habits. To change or replace negative things with positive things takes atleast 18 days. Remember habits fight to stay alive, so it will take work to change, but you can do it. Thanks!
If we want to change our future, we must change our present thinking. Guilt is a negative state. Thoughts either help or hurt us. Long term guilt hurts us. We decide how we feel. (what we believe is true,) Guilt is a self-made poison. Meant to be a tap on the shoulder and not a life long science project. It keeps us trapped in the past. It’s anger directed at oneself. It’s another control issue. (thinking if we keep feeling guilty that will somehow control what happened, Guilt can be avoidance behavior. It keeps us from moving forward and taking responsibility and acting. Pain motivates us to find it’s source and fix it. Use guilt the same way, take care of it. (emotional tip or signal.) Feeling guilty is the beginning of a process. Pain with a purpose. Meant to guide us to feeling and getting better. Can use it to motivate us to change, because it’s uncomfortable. Learn from the situation, apologize, forgive, let go and move on with new insights. Letting go is action oriented.
WORRY is repeatedly thinking about something, but never arriving to a solution. Keeps us stuck in the negative. Worrying about something bad that’s already happened does nothing more than prolong the pain. (Let the Lord take care of it.) Habit it worry developed so well don’t even notice you are worrying. It feels normal, becomes a way of life. Really just waste of time. Picture the positive. Positive problem solving-develop a plan. Thoughts just thoughts, not necessarily facts. If worry, vividly and emotionally picturing life the way you don’t want it to be. (Yep). Body reacts same to thoughts as real event.
Two forgiveness lists- one for self, one for others. Be specific. The person, event, action, etc. when think about it, replay physically every emotion (why good not to rehash things) Figure out which ones ready to let go of. Reality (compassionate/empathic) thinking. Be mature, use adult eyes. Some things may take some time still to let go. Continue making forgiveness lists until you have a blank piece of paper. Allow the necessary time and be realistic about it.
Forgiveness is a process. Always cross-examine guilt and make sure there is a good reason to take on the pain of guilt. Check out the facts. Were your actions or inactions the cause of the problem? Is this situation due to circumstances beyond your control? Is there a pattern to your guilt? What can you learn about yourself, your vulnerabilities, strenths?
Guilt is a call to action! Can’t change what happened, can change small pieces of what happens next.
Write down three of your most bothersome worries from your day. After write down things you will do the next day that will lead to a solution. Get into the habit of taking action. Decrease time allow for worry?
Cross out all the things that you worry about that have no control over, and act on worries that you do.
USE THE 6 STEPS TO STOP THE WORRY CYCLE. REFOCUS THOUGHTS ON HERE AND NOW.
WORRIES: WRITE WORRY OR CONCERN (AND BODY SYMPTOMS) DOWN, THEN DURING ASSIGNED TIME (20 MINS) ALLOW YOURSELF TO WORRY , BUT START PROBLEM SOLVING DURING THAT TIME. Evaluate are you dwelling on past or worrying about the future, things have control over/things don’t have control over. For things have control over, form plan of action that will produce a more positive outcome. What are odds of this really happening?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
Take full responsibility for life and happiness.
Forgiveness is something you give yourself.
Shame: a sense of worthlessness says “I am a mistake.”
If good worrier can become a great goal setter. Worry is merely goal setting in a negative way.
Feeling guilty is merely the beginning of a process. Guilt can be an opportunity to improve. Little purpose in being stuck. Channel guilt into creative action. Use it as a tool that leads to feeling good. Learn from the experience, heal and move on. When have problem with no immediate answer, understandable to be concerned. Worry is mentally exhausting and steals time from productive activities.
Guilt and worry can be positive if used wisely. Use them as reality checks. Practice present moment living. Shift to problem solving mode.
PAST OR PRESENT THINGS FEELING GUILT ABOUT: Can you do anything about them, change or apologize? Which are your main concerns or worries at this time? Are these legitimate (realistic) concerns? Do you have any control over whether or not these things will really happen? What could you do to change the outcome you are worried about to possibly make it turn out better?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
Guilt is a great way to fill the present moment. That way, you don’t have to think about changing. By worrying about the past it’s hard to concentrate on the present or future.
Feeling good can bring on tremendous amount of anxiety when you feel you don’t deserve to feel good.
Feeling guilty, great way to explain your present unhappiness and dissatisfaction with yourself and life. Feeling you deserve to be unhappy, is way so many people who harbor a lot of guilt have a difficult time thinking positive or taking positive steps to improve their life. Know happiness won’t last for them. Don’t feel they deserve it, so why bother to try. Extremely analytical. Dwell on things, dissect it over and over, trying desperately to justify behavior, but don’t believe justification. Justifies self-hate. Difficult to let go of guilt, if someone else blames you for something they feel you did. Recognize that is their problem.
Start taking serious look at what you did. Put it into perspective. 1.) Did you consciously and deliberately do something just to hurt someone, or did you do it out of a need you felt you had at the time? (Maybe the pain you were experiencing caused you to hurt someone else in the long run.)2.) Was the wrong that happened a total accident on your part? (You never meant for it to happen- happened due to circumstances and the situation at the time.) It just happened no ones fault?3.) Was the wrong you did really that terrible, and if so, by whose standards? 4.) Was the wrong you did something you can make up for? Was it something you can correct, change or apologize for?5.) Was the wrong that happened someone else’s doing? Are you feeling guilty for something someone else is really responsible for? 6.) Is the guilt you feel productive or non-productive? Are you beating yourself up and making yourself miserable? Or are you being realistic, feeling regretful and remorseful for your actions and taking steps to develop a strategy for change, forgiveness and acceptance? Will you make it right (if possible), learn and mature from the error and forgive yourself?
Not wrong to feel certain amount of regret and remorse for wrong doings, but wrong to dwell on wrong doings. You choose to feel this way. Time to take control of the way you feel and let yourself be happy.
1. Analyze your wrongdoings. Do maturely, with a realistic, open mind.2. If you feel you hurt or mistreated someone, find a way to let him or her know you are sorry/apologize if you can no matter how much time has gone by. 3. Set a time limit on your guilt. (Fit it to the wrong.) Think about what you did. Reflect on why it happened. The situation at the time. What can you do to make sure it doesn’t happened again? What can you learn from it? (Growing, learning and becoming more responsible.) 4. Give self freedom to make mistakes, freedom to takes changes. Everyone makes mistakes, Forgive, learn, and move on and try again. 5. Let go. Say out loud to self “It’s over, I forgive myself and am going to move on. I can be happy now.”
If you truly want to lessen your worry, decrease your odds of having the problems you fear by taking better care of yourself or making better choices.
Worrying about the future is simply a negative habit that needs to be broken. You can unlearn this behavior. Why worry if chances of what you are worrying about will probably
Good Book:
"Forgiving Ourselves" by Wendy Ulrich
Link:
http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/worry-cure
Shame: a sense of worthlessness says “I am a mistake.”
If good worrier can become a great goal setter. Worry is merely goal setting in a negative way.
Feeling guilty is merely the beginning of a process. Guilt can be an opportunity to improve. Little purpose in being stuck. Channel guilt into creative action. Use it as a tool that leads to feeling good. Learn from the experience, heal and move on. When have problem with no immediate answer, understandable to be concerned. Worry is mentally exhausting and steals time from productive activities.
Guilt and worry can be positive if used wisely. Use them as reality checks. Practice present moment living. Shift to problem solving mode.
PAST OR PRESENT THINGS FEELING GUILT ABOUT: Can you do anything about them, change or apologize? Which are your main concerns or worries at this time? Are these legitimate (realistic) concerns? Do you have any control over whether or not these things will really happen? What could you do to change the outcome you are worried about to possibly make it turn out better?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
Guilt is a great way to fill the present moment. That way, you don’t have to think about changing. By worrying about the past it’s hard to concentrate on the present or future.
Feeling good can bring on tremendous amount of anxiety when you feel you don’t deserve to feel good.
Feeling guilty, great way to explain your present unhappiness and dissatisfaction with yourself and life. Feeling you deserve to be unhappy, is way so many people who harbor a lot of guilt have a difficult time thinking positive or taking positive steps to improve their life. Know happiness won’t last for them. Don’t feel they deserve it, so why bother to try. Extremely analytical. Dwell on things, dissect it over and over, trying desperately to justify behavior, but don’t believe justification. Justifies self-hate. Difficult to let go of guilt, if someone else blames you for something they feel you did. Recognize that is their problem.
Start taking serious look at what you did. Put it into perspective. 1.) Did you consciously and deliberately do something just to hurt someone, or did you do it out of a need you felt you had at the time? (Maybe the pain you were experiencing caused you to hurt someone else in the long run.)2.) Was the wrong that happened a total accident on your part? (You never meant for it to happen- happened due to circumstances and the situation at the time.) It just happened no ones fault?3.) Was the wrong you did really that terrible, and if so, by whose standards? 4.) Was the wrong you did something you can make up for? Was it something you can correct, change or apologize for?5.) Was the wrong that happened someone else’s doing? Are you feeling guilty for something someone else is really responsible for? 6.) Is the guilt you feel productive or non-productive? Are you beating yourself up and making yourself miserable? Or are you being realistic, feeling regretful and remorseful for your actions and taking steps to develop a strategy for change, forgiveness and acceptance? Will you make it right (if possible), learn and mature from the error and forgive yourself?
Not wrong to feel certain amount of regret and remorse for wrong doings, but wrong to dwell on wrong doings. You choose to feel this way. Time to take control of the way you feel and let yourself be happy.
1. Analyze your wrongdoings. Do maturely, with a realistic, open mind.2. If you feel you hurt or mistreated someone, find a way to let him or her know you are sorry/apologize if you can no matter how much time has gone by. 3. Set a time limit on your guilt. (Fit it to the wrong.) Think about what you did. Reflect on why it happened. The situation at the time. What can you do to make sure it doesn’t happened again? What can you learn from it? (Growing, learning and becoming more responsible.) 4. Give self freedom to make mistakes, freedom to takes changes. Everyone makes mistakes, Forgive, learn, and move on and try again. 5. Let go. Say out loud to self “It’s over, I forgive myself and am going to move on. I can be happy now.”
If you truly want to lessen your worry, decrease your odds of having the problems you fear by taking better care of yourself or making better choices.
Worrying about the future is simply a negative habit that needs to be broken. You can unlearn this behavior. Why worry if chances of what you are worrying about will probably
Good Book:
"Forgiving Ourselves" by Wendy Ulrich
Link:
http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/worry-cure
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